There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. 

They vowed that if either died, the one remaining would try to contact the 
partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death.

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the man died in a car wreck. True to her 
word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days 
later.

At the seance, she called out, "Jim Jim, this is Helen. Do you hear me?"

A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Helen, this is Jim. I can hear you."

Helen tearfully asked, "Oh Jim, what is it like where you are?"

"It's great. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time, 
the grass is so green and the cows have such beautiful eyes."

"what do you do all day?" asked Helen.

"Well, Helen, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's 
nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then 
make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we 
fall asleep about 11 p.m."

Helen was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?"

"Heaven? I'm not in heaven, Helen."

"Well, then, where are you, Jim?" she asked

"I'm a cow getting fucked by a big ass bull on George W Bushes ranch in 
Texas" he continued..."i was told by the great spirit that this is punishment 
for aiding and abetting warcrimes committed by the billion dollar war machine 
by helping design weapons for the military...and then trying to use a sham 
cult as a religion to gain material wealth from other humans by manipulating 
their deep feeling of loss for dead loved ones"


sorry... private joke...