oh, hello there! what's all this nonsense then? eh? eh? ...eh?

it's PLANET LUTON! it's 1969, and the sound of screaming from a baby can be heard all through the estate. 20 years go by. Emerging from the ether of the early 90s Falmouth art pocket Paul T Cobbin became Captain Wardrobe, several million beepy noises were made and listened to all over the world. well my world anyway...all i know is - someone out there has listened to some of this. so there you go!

Then... after being proper made to feel like a cultural leper by The Fun Police [UK branch] our mindfucked hero decided to get rid of all his junk. He hopped on his trusty jetpack flew away from Whitley Bay, avoiding chimneys. Ah, the seaside town they forgot to bomb. What a silly place.

So he, found himself flying off to a small Mediterranean island paradise. He lived in a nice little apartment with a pool & everything.

Just when things were getting a bit normal & boring 'The Fun Police' [North Cyprus Branch] stopped the urge to perform covers & original, yes, original material on guitar in piss elegant restaraunts to a widely stupid, backstabbingly woeful, mooing & bleating, energy sapping, brain damagingly awful, ex-Pat public. The poor bastards also had to put up with me. being drunk. & sarcastic. oh dear.

There was, after a small time of contemplative brandy abuse, a gig at a party, It's here i met some daft woman. Calling herself Briannette Zatapatique. After giving her the once over, I decided to become an international sex butler. It was an amazing success. Time passed as I butlered sexily. Then the island saw what can only be described as an alien cat invasion. The little blighters were everywhere. We all noticed it when Catty Narwhal appeared one day in the garden & spoke to us while foraging & meowing for grub. Briannette Zatapatique noticed something odd about him, was it the eyes? or perhaps his humungous ginger Balls. who knows.

It was then, after a hiatus of nearly 8 years, that the Gizmochimps raised themselves from the ocean like a primordial zombie-zilla & were returned to the Planet of the Earth within its ape descendant dominant time perameters. Renegade Pharmacy was active & now able to distribute more oddness to an unsuspecting, unknowable, uncountable entity inside the zeros & ones known as the interwebnetthingy

Thus bleepy acid techno beats, arty detuned guitar noise & boingy mad sounds did weep steadily in a torrent of ear stimulant, verily from the mountain. And Lo, all was weird and wibbly once more. Many ran. many stayed, then ran. some stayed but were not sure what it was, peering into it like some cross between a camping fire, a crystal ball of ancient mystical origins, an ginormous sinkhole, or a big pile of stinky sick you find in a back alley of a grey & rainy uk seaside town.

anyway, I hope you stick around & get something out of it.