Cannibal Cravings – at The Hollydale

Established in 2015, The Hollydale is a purveyor of the finest human flesh, harvested fresh from only the most attractive, willing donors, skillfully and reverently prepared by world-class master chefs. Our unique eatery is securely located deep beneath the abandoned Hollydale Lunatic Asylum in Los Angeles, California and is accessible via high speed underground rail from the San Fernando Valley, Malibu and Beverly Hills.

At The Hollydale, we believe our guests would prefer to keep their Cannibal Cravings… private.

Case in Point: When rumours of our competitor restaurant’s guest list hit the internet a few years ago, the unconfirmed, alleged guest list went viral. The restaurant’s unfortunate branding, which included ghoulish and macabre images, only added fuel to the fire. Accusations of gruesome behaviour that included satanic rituals were thrown around without regard to accuracy, good taste, or any concern for reputational damage inflicted on the restaurant or the alleged guests.

Arrive at The Hollydale as though you’re attending an important event at a fine, upscale establishment, because you are.

When we say, “People are Meat” we refer to the fact that human beings are mammals, and like all mammals, we are delicious when properly prepared by a skilled chef! Cannibal Cravings at The Hollydale is managed by Hugh Collins, an early investor in our competitor restaurant, The Cannibal Club. Hugh has a proven track record and a long history of managing upscale restaurants in the UK, catering to an elite clientele. Prior to joining us at The Hollydale, he was a managing partner of the London Oaks Cannibal Cafe, in Hampstead, England. As is the case with all of our staff, Mr. Collins signed a lifetime contract and is now owned by Karina Belenoff.

Dr. Lucretia Payne is the Hollydale’s Chief Medical Officer. It is her job to make sure every person who makes the ultimate sacrifice is of sound mind and healthy body, and she oversees a staff of 3 licensed psychiatrists who assist her. Born in Washington, D.C. to British parents and raised in Switzerland and Germany, the good doctor was first introduced to the cannibal lifestyle whilst attending the Max Planck Institute of Psychiatry in Munich. Before coming to the Hollydale, Dr. Payne was the Director of Rehabilitative Science at the Maryland Asylum for the Feeble Minded, which closed its doors in 2009 amidst allegations of patient abuse, neglect, murder and cannibalism. Dr. Payne’s favorite film is One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest and her favorite cannibal dish is Sinaloa Street Legs.

Quality Control Executive Amanda Muse ensures all of our meat is butchered within hours of the donor’s passing, so you can be sure that everything we serve is fresh and formaldehyde-free. Unlike some of our competitors, we do NOT accept product from hospitals, homeless shelters, graveyards, funeral homes, morgues or unknown sources. It is not only illegal to serve human flesh obtained from such sources, it is highly unethical. Put simply, we wouldn’t be caught dead participating in such activities.

Elsa Bauer is The Hollydale’s Chief of Security. She replaces our previous head of security Lemuel Proudfoot, who passed away in October, 2019. Elsa’s responsibilities encompass the security of the restaurant and its associated facilities, including the tunnels and caverns connected to The Hollydale, as well as the railway network that services the restaurant from various points throughout Southern California. Described by her colleagues as calculating, brilliant and ruthless, Elsa is a former high school math and science teacher and is one of the winners of the 2019 October Madness event.

Deputy Chief of Security Stella Chindra is responsible for managing The Hollydale’s Electric Servants – swift robots made of titanium and covered with synthederm. She takes over the role from previous security chief Lem Proudfoot, who was killed by Electric Servant Valkyrie-Servo F329 during the October Madness event.

Stella is one of the winners of the 2019 October Madness event, where she killed nine members of opposing teams and personally disabled two Electric Servants. The former cybersecurity executive for the US National Security Agency holds degrees in computer science and robotics engineering.